There exists a purpose in everything we do or do not do. There is a reason that substantiates our every act, thought, and sentiment. However, not every reason is known to us. And nor do we look for what is not apparent. Following some logical sequence of thoughts, we could say that we meet certain people in our lifetime for a reason. While we continue being associated with a few, we also disassociate with many. All through such chain of events, we are learning, evolving, and returning to certain lessons over and over again. For instance, many of us go back to our friends, make truces with those we fought with, apologize to those who we deserted, and patch things up with those who we still are in love with. We also let in a few, who left us out of their lives at a certain point.
All of these occurrences, put together, mark a journey to find the one who completes us. The ‘one’ being our very own, lost during the process of evolution―twin flame. Going back to someone you once connected with, who helped you realize who you are, is a feeling perfectly summarized by Plato in these lines―”… and when one of them meets the other half, the actual half of himself, whether he be a lover of youth or a lover of another sort, the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy and one will not be out of the other’s sight, as I may say, even for a moment …” It is this magic so rare and so powerful that once you’ve come to know it, recognized it, and most importantly experienced it, that you can never possibly escape its magnetic field. Nonetheless, we make attempts because of minor aberrations that manifest in the form of disagreements and rigid perspectives. After all, we are stuck in the eternal process of evolving and learning, and maybe, sometimes, unlearning things as well. Let’s take a look at what we keep seeking all our lives and what happens when we find it.
What is a Twin Flame?
Much has been written and said about the concept of twin flames, and it has drawn even more critique and controversy. However, at a very primal and personal level, every individual recognizes a magnetic pull towards someone. For reasons unknown, we connect with them. We are drawn towards them. These individuals fill our every thought, and subconsciously manipulate our every action too. The truth behind the concept of twin flame lies in the explanation to this phenomenon.
It is believed that twin flames were once upon a time one soul. At a certain point in time, they were split into two and went on their separate ways to gather newer experiences, and grow individually through different incarnations. However, each one searched for the other (without knowing) to share these experiences. This forlorn, unrequited desire made the two frantically look for each other through every ascension of life. In some of their reincarnations, they met each other, while in a few others, they kept seeking. Each fragmented soul became a complete one when it found the other. Although the two souls separately existed to live happily, the togetherness brought the one something far greater.
It is believed that we have only one twin soul with whom we keep sharing encounters through rebirth in subsequent lifetimes, until a full journey of human experience is completed. Sometimes the forces of nature conspire to bring these two separated souls together, while sometimes the same pull them apart too. But each time a union is sought, it only results in higher highs as compared to the lows that falling apart can create.
Stages of a Twin Flame Relationship
“They were from two different worlds. Two entirely different people. But upon their coming together, they created- they found- their own path and together they had their own world and in their own world, they were the same. Everyone else outside of it- everyone else was over there. Away. And they together- they together were here. They were right here. They were the same.”
― C. JoyBell C.
Although the two souls haven’t met at this point, this still counts as the first stage of their equation. This is the part where one or both the fragmented souls goes through a personal catastrophe or a life-changing situation, which urges it/them to look for ‘The One’. A painful breakup, a nasty divorce, or end of an abusive relationship can be certain triggers that awaken the desire to look for the love you have been yearning for. The end of these Karmic relationships carry you through, with your every initiation, every instance, and with all your intuition to your twin flame. This is how the two souls, while away from each other, prepare themselves by understanding what the incomplete one seeks and wants. However, the search may not always be a result of a negative end. It could also be a result of a correct cosmic timing fueled by an ardent longing to complete yourself.
Rendezvous and Recognition
The meeting or a chance rendezvous is a moment in this lifetime when you meet your twin flame for the first time. It is a connection you make instantaneously without any hesitations. A recognition so accurate that you need no empiricism to corroborate it. Many synchronous events have already surrounded the union and in ways known to you too before you reached this meeting point. So, the moment you meet your twin flame, your heart opens quickly only to merge into an undefinable unified energy. As the two of you merge, the world outside collapses and an unforgettable bond is made, which you shall pursue for years to come.
But despite this unfathomable chemistry, not necessarily are the two ready to plunge into a romantic liaison immediately. There may be certain inhibitions and reservations from past experiences, unconducive conditioning of the subconscious and the conscious mind to guard oneself from emotional vulnerability, and such other residual effects of evolution that require cleansing, stops the two of them from giving in. This precise, presupposed understanding stirs the testing crisis. Subsequently, one or both tries to fit this equation into the ‘old model of love’, which is a period of love narcosis, moving on to a mellowing courtship, and finally an uninspiring relationship. This largely stems from their learned beliefs so far. Their understanding of togetherness is driven in a manner that fits and feeds their egos. The moment they feel any deviation, the relationship starts crumbling under the weight of their towering egotistical attitudes.
Battle of Egos
“Impossible to let go … No longer knowing how to hold on.”
― Truth Devour, Unrequited
As they are now stuck in the conventional model of a relationship, the two fail to understand that their egoistic beliefs have to be rejected in order to embrace an expression of love that is higher than all those things surrounding them. However, as self-importance vetoes the metaphysical undercurrent, dysfunctional emotional patterns emerge, creating a vortex of anxiety, fear, confusion, and rage until a surrender. However, the strength of the recognition is such, that despite the conundrum, the twin flames seek refuge in each other’s confessions, forgiveness, a rare bonding, and lovemaking (which is a form of communication). These ups and downs etching the sinusoidal wave of life for the flames are essentially rites of passage for them. It is to erase the preconceived notions of how things should be, to allow new learning of how things can be. It is a way of cleansing their trained subconsciousness and unlearning their past beliefs about relationships in order to raise to a higher spiritual awakening with each other. But for some, it is hard to resist the seduction of an ego, and for those who try to seek harmony beyond this battle, it becomes a task for another lifetime. And as the flames continue waging wars, they assume the roles of the runner and the chaser.
Runner and the Chaser
While the twin flames are still learning the dynamics of their magnetism and balancing their energies against each other, they assume roles of a runner and chaser. This stage is defined by pain, heartbreak, and every act and emotion that remains largely incomprehensible for the two. “Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything its cracked up to be. That’s why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.”
― Erica Jong
As the undissolved human ego is threatened by cumulative energy of the twin souls, it flees. It runs as far away as it can, defending itself with every possible mechanism that imagination holds for it. The chaser becomes the helpless receiver of the runner’s defiance, resistance, anger, deceit, punishments, ignorance, judgment, and annihilating antics. As the abandonment continues for a time frame, it wrecks the souls, and both of them embark on a journey to withdraw. But for the chaser, the realization is much bigger, and thus, usually, this one soul tries to recreate the unified harmony that once existed between the two. However, rarely will the runner see what the death of ego can give birth to. So, the flames now enter the next phase of surrender to time, the greater cosmic energy, known to us as the healer of most painful wounds.
The devastation that the relationship did is left to an undefined time period for restoration. At this stage, the future of the twin flames is left to a realization of a higher consciousness. The chaser soul allows the other the time and space to realize the loss, evolve at its own pace, and to return with compassion for a unification. This twin continues to hold a space in the heart for the runner while engaging in a fulfilling life experience on Earth. For most of the chasers, this period is invested in channeling their energy into learning various forms of arts and expression. The stage allows both the souls the time to let go of their egos, develop a language that the two of them understand, and reconnect with earnestness. Perfectly summed up as self-realization, the twin flames, thus, begin gravitating to reunite at the stage of illumination and radiance.
Illumination and Radiance
“It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being.”
― John Joseph Powell, The Secret of Staying in Love
As egos fade, a unified energy takes charge, leading the twin flames to a complete spiritual awakening. Not only are the two souls awake in their every movement and moment, but are consciously intertwined in each other’s energies too. Together they illuminate each other’s souls with an understanding of their sacred relationship. They radiate a divine love that heals their wounds and brings them closer each day.
Together they seek a communion defined by stark transparency and unconditional love. This is the last stage of a total twin flame reunion whose purpose all this while was to seek a deeper meaning to life, to give it meaning with spiritual companionship, and to engrave an epitome, here on Earth, of beauty that attracts every secret scout of a serendipitous ending that can happen at least once in a lifetime.
The understanding of a twin flame relationship is different for every union. Some of them may go through each of these phases, while some may find their harmony in the first stage itself. The timeline can never be defined, and one cannot ever ascertain two individuals as twin flames. Thus, the confusion hangs heavy in the air about how would you know whether you’ve met your twin flame. What really happens? And how are you ever to find out? These questions have answers too! Meeting a twin flame is not like having a crush on somebody. It is not just falling for the way they look, smell, or talk. There is much more to it than what meets the eye. There is much more that happens than what your heart can grasp or your head can understand. And here’s what that is.
Signs You’ve Met Your Twin Flame
Before you actually meet your twin flame, there are several synchronicities that are leading you to them. It could be seeing numbers such as 1111, 2222, 3333, and so on and so forth. It could also be many such repeated patterns that are all conspiring to conjure this meeting between the two. Some of these signs you may notice, but may not be able to decipher, while some may go absolutely unnoticed too. However, it is usually under a strange circumstance that you will meet your twin flame. Probably in a place where you were not supposed to be or in a situation that had never crossed your imagination. These synchronicities are only pointing out to you that they weren’t strange coincidences, but a planned series of events that made you focus (subconsciously) towards finding the one.
An Instant Connection
The connection is instant. Just one look and that is all that it takes to know that you have known this one person for all your life. “Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.”
― Bruce Lee
That you recognize them in a deep way, from a distant past, belonging to a time that you shared together. Oddly, you find yourself recognizing your twin flame’s every habit and gesticulation right from the sound of their voice to the smell of the skin. This isn’t like having the hots for someone or having a crush on someone. It is more akin to the relation your subconscious mind makes your flame’s conscious acts. There is no need or the desire to impress, but simply to fit together as pieces of a puzzle that the two of you are a part of. Everything about your twin soul brings a comforting sense of familiarity. Meeting the person evokes a sense of ‘coming home’. It is falling in love at first sight, in the truest sense.
Communication is not limited to the knowledge of a common language. It is a need that is satisfied through a unique language code, which only the twin flames understand. A complete unity and an incomparable oneness is sought and derived out of a heightened sense of communication that the twin flames possess for each other.
Twin flames know no distance. Like conventional couples, they are not governed by the sadness that separation bestows. A closeness is already sought in the way the two communicate without having to say anything. Communication is a form of a reflection between the two. Your twin flame mirrors your needs, desires, concerns, ambitions, dreams, and hopes about those things that matter in your life. The two will also complement each other’s skill sets and talents, to make each other truly complete.
There are times when you find yourself stuck in a relationship that is emotionally unavailable and incredibly unsatisfying. The reverse of this happens the moment you meet your twin flame. You begin to unlock the layers of emotions you kept away from exploring and feeling with your twin flame. There is acceptance, honesty, healing, and fulfillment of your emotional needs. The balancing act in a relationship becomes equal, better, stronger, and much more sustainable than any of your previous relationships. All of this put together culminates into an experience of a spiritual awakening and a perspective on life that never existed before.
The individuality of each soul that existed so far is merged into one. “In your light I learn how to love. In your beauty, how to make poems. You dance inside my chest where no-one sees you, but sometimes I do, and that sight becomes this art.”
The act of intimacy is so primal, raw, and beyond normal comprehension that it can hardly be explained in words. This is the reason a physical act becomes the real communication for both the flames. This intimacy might be led or dominated by the male twin, while the female twin might make a due surrender. The male and female twins in this context are mere energies and not the genders themselves. It is in this union that intensity and complexity find their purpose and release.
There is a sense of completeness that possibly cannot be described in words. The twin flames come closer and closer with each passing experience shared with one another. They discover more about themselves than they would have with other people. This sign of having found your twin flame can only be felt once the twins reach the stage of harmony with each other.
An interesting facet about twin flames is that they may be people belonging to the same gender, they may share huge age differences, and they will usually only meet under the strangest of circumstances. A female avatar of a certain twin flame may carry a male energy, while the male embodiment may have a female energy. Regardless of these complexities, the two souls will always fit together as though they were missing pieces of the same puzzle.
The concept of twin flames is often confused and misunderstood as that of a soulmate. The mere difference is that soulmates promise each other to reincarnate on earthly planes to help each other, learn from each other, and guide each other. These patterns may continue, and there may be several who you make this promise to. However, there exists only one twin flame for you in your entire journey of a human experience. Only this one soul is going to be your vice, and you, its versa.